Shampoo
by Pathetic4HeadedMassOfTentacles
Summary: Who knew hair was that important, and how the absence of shampoo can lead to weird things.


Ok. I thought it was a pretty good idea

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Faye, always taking a shower whenever she can, using up all the hot water and making sure her hair was its best, when showering, Faye treated her purple locks like they were thousands of individual princesses, and only used a certain type of peach scented shampoo for her hair. But today was different. Like most woman she goes batshit crazy when she doesn't get a certain thing, in this case however, was her shampoo.

"You forgot to pick it up?" Faye yelled, slamming her fist on the coffee table when she realized Spike didn't pick up what she needed, Spike had a blank expression on his face, puzzled by this, he never seen Faye so worked up about shampoo, actually, he never had, like most times Spike didn't give a shit about Faye's little habits that didn't involve money. Spike simply shrugged, "I told you to pick it up."

"Faye, I went out to pick up food, without food, you die, you can live without shampoo, so unless said shampoo is editable, I don't give a rats ass." Blunt, but to the point, he really had no shits to give about beauty products, well, that wasn't about him of course. Spike turned around, "And honestly Faye, isn't that kind of stuff your job? You don't expect a man like me to pick up some sugary sweet smelling shampoo." That smelt good towards Spike; even he had to admit it whenever he got a scent of her shampoo.

Faye's eyes twitch, if this was a cartoon you could practically see a vein bulge from her head and four lines of steam floating from her forehead. She bared her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut, bowing her head as she clenched her fist and said through her gritted teeth. "Well, being the technology is so damn good now, you would think they would make edible shampoo."

Spike laughed, looking back at Faye with a humored smile, "I don't think they would make something that you wash your hair with edible, and then we would all have hair of barbarians." Spike laughed, Faye looked at him as if he was stupid and said:

"You're one to talk, fuzz ball." She pointed at Spike's hair, Spike chuckled.

"I can't do anything about my hair, it's like this naturally." Spike said as he rain his hand through his hair, all the while Faye's eyes wandered towards the bag, seeing something familiar, Faye growled, reaching in the bag, Spike stopped bragging about his hair when he heard the plastic bags make their regular thrashing noise as Faye reached in and grabbed a bottle of shampoo, that was made for frizzy hair. Spike chuckled, a nervous smile on his face as Faye growled, and hit Spike across the face with it. Spike yelped in pain, a red mark on his cheek.

"Oh, so you pick up shampoo for yourself, made for frizzy hair, and you keep bragging that fro is natural." She complained, Spike regained his posture, rubbing his cheek.

"It is, but it still needs attention." Spike retorted, Faye rolled her eyes, soon they were cut off when Jet cleared his throat from the other side of the room, Spike and Faye looked at him, he wasn't angry about them arguing though, it was what they were arguing about.

"Can you two argue about something else?" he asked before leaving the room, rubbing his bald head, Spike and Faye once again glared at each other before Spike swiped his shampoo from Faye and walked out of the room.

_Later that same day, night..._

"Great," Faye muttered to herself as she entered the bathroom with nothing but a towel around her slim body, "I can't wash my damn hair now." She complained, running her hand through her hair, "I can already feel my hair drying out." She complained, bending over and turning on the water, it got hot pretty quickly when there was actually hot water. Faye sighed, dropping the towel and stepping into the warm water, what she usually did first was wash her hair, but now she had no clue what to do, hell, she didn't even have body wash. The closest thing she could wash with was a bar of soap and no luffa, and she knew the boys would scrub themselves bear with that bar of soap and by laws of, whatever, she would technically be rubbing their junk on her if they actually scrubbed down there with that and that was pretty fucking nasty.

Faye stomped her foot on the slippery shower floor, almost losing her balance and she yelled: "Damnit." Wow, bathing was less fun now. She wanted to just step out of the shower till something got her eye, she looked over at the corner of the tub and saw Spike's unopened bottle of shampoo, she cocked an eyebrow at it and thought about it for a moment and thought 'Screw it' a little dab won't hurt right?

She picked up the bottle and opened the cap, the scent of men invaded her nostrils and reconsidered it, and does she really want to smell like stale cologne for the day? She chuckled and thought it would be worth it. Faye turned the bottle upside down and pour a little in her hand, about the size of a quarter, she looked at the blob for a moment and said fuck it and poured a quarter of the bottle in her hair, enough that the suds from the shampoo acted as her body wash.

Well, that made it less boring, it was still a short shower nonetheless, and hot water always left Faye tired, especially at night, so she fell asleep shortly after.

When she woke up, something happened, when she looked in the mirror, she saw that her hair mutated, her eyes widen, and she let out a scream that woke up Spike. Spike, even though Faye was annoying, came rushing in, seeing that everything was alright. Instead, rather than seeing Faye all bloody with shards of glass in her skin with the mirror nearby, no, instead all he got was short lived disappointment to one of the funniest things Spike ever saw; Faye with an afro as big as his.

Spike burst out laughing right then and there, pointing at the purple afro Faye had, Faye blushed out of embarrassment and crossed her arms, knowing that nothing could really stop him from laughing at her hair, all frizzy, puffed up in a way somewhat similar to Spike, but in a way that Death The Kid would be proud, symmetrical. "You just had to use my shampoo!"

"Fuck you Spike, you should have said something!"

"Well I never thought you cared about your hair that much." Spike wiped a tear from his eye.

"You're one to talk." Faye retorted, "You said your hair was natural."

"And it is, it's just that I like my hair puffy."

Faye looked at him and smiled, "How about a bet?" She asked, Spike's smile was gone and he gulped, already having a good idea about what the bet is.

"What?"

"Go a week without that shampoo; if your hair is flat within the week, you become my whore. If I win, I'll go around with this for a year."

Wasn't really fair, but there was no way around it, Spike accepted.

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I will probably continue this, but what do you care? People will just read those other stupid Spike and Faye fics, this was meant to be stupid while the others are just so mushy and overplayed that it makes me feeling like barfing.

Germany: Please don't hurl on me


End file.
